So the idea of me being able to control my weight loss, and not completely slip back into a ED is gone. Completely gone. Im full back into it, thinking about every inch of fat on my body, what type of exercises i can do to make sure im loosing that inch of fat. Going to the mirror and looking at myself naked thinking my god... you look horrible, seeing all my bones and looking every time i eat which eating is a rare occurence. Its a few nibbles here and there to keep me from fainting, which Honestly im welcoming my ED in with open arms. Counting every calorie, knowing how much i have to work off to burn the little calories i have eaten, making sure that if i eat, im purging it up. The feeling of thin, the feeling of restriction and the feeling of bones.. what could be better?!?!
I love loosing.
CW:158
BMI: 22
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