weekly update

so the social.. turned out horrible, ended up having one drink and being hammered.. good way to show EVERYONE im not eating again, anyways ended up binging and drinking so much alchohol i couldnt stand, my boyfriend had to take me home after 20 minutes at the social and i practically tried breaking up with him. I told him how ugly i was and how he deserves better and that im huge and he deserves a pretty skinny girl.. clearly im fucked and i dont know how much i truly told him, anyways the next day i apologized and so on. On to this week at school bake sale and they brought the extras into our class... hello wannabe binge, i asked to move the desserts away from me because I was trying to be "skinny" and low and behold some girl comments it sounds like you have an eating disorder. and I was like actually i struggle with an eating disorder but thanks for that. i cant believe anyone would actually say that and someone who isnt even my friend like fuck right off. anyways i was under 600 calories everyday this week, but have only gone to kickboxing 3 times this week, i fucked up my back (N) so xray will be coming soon. hope everyones doing good and eating little.
xo

social?

hey guys! so today has been pretty decent jumped on the scale and am 153, the numbers are going down, im aiming for 145 by the 22nd but if it comes faster i will not complain hehe. Anyways, i have a social to go to tonight, thoughts on what i should wear? if i should drink or not? and if so what should i drink!
i hope everyones day is going pretty well remember restriction will help the numbers go down, keep your exercise up as well, if you feel faint relax for a few and then get back to it we dont want any fatties right ;)
xo

im baaaaack

okay guys. Here we are again. 155 lbs, skinny but not where i want to be. I want people to look and say holy... shes skinny. I want my bones to stick out. I can count my ribs so far, but i want my spine to stick out more. I would die for this. What kind of diets are you guys on? im thinking of doing the ABC diet to get back on track. Im consuming around 900-1000 calories a day with a calorie deficiet of around 1500 calories a day. I want to be 145 as my goal weight in the 130's would be a dream come true. I constantly am shaking from such a calorie deficeit but it just tells me to keep going. I hope you guys havent given up on me!

ill try and post regularly, and if anyone would like to start chatting back and forth ill send them my email! just comment on here or any other post.~

here we gooo

I just realized guys im 12 lbs from my gw.. how exciting. :) ive been pretty hence the lack of blogs, its been a hard couple of weeks, everyones been pretty much shoving food down my throat LITERALLY, everywhere i am they like force me to eat, Ive been getting use to purging i know horrrrible! ( well not horrible cause it gets the job done) but its not something i enjoy doing as of late. I love the emptiness of purging. but i rather not eat at all. Ive found the best thing with purging is always drinking alot of fluids so its easier to pull up. Anyways! hows everyone else doing! I got my rook pierced to congratulate and remind myself that i got past my goal of 155 :)! I feel like to get down to 140 it shouldnt be too hard, but people definitely say im to skinny now, but who are they to say im to skinny, they dont live in my hell of being in this constant fat body. What is your guys idea of too thin? or low weight?
Lots of love skinny people xo

updated photo = 152lbs

Even though im hestiant about doing this already im at 152 so i might as well post an updated picture.. Give me you're thoughts and ideas of what I still need to work on. this is an inprogress picture dont forget! i know im not where close where i need to be just yet

frustration, confusion.

So im falling for this new guy, but cant let go of the old one. Problem new guy lives in a different province old guy lives other side of my city.

Today I was at the old guys, and were cuddling of course he comments on feeling my bones like he always does. I dont see why everyone cares its my body do people not understand that? thanks for the concern but to constantly be told im to skinny? like leave me alone. I dont feel like theres a thing as to skinny. how can someone be to skinny? I understand being fat and too fat, but to skinny? impossible. But, anyways he went off about how he loves me no matter what, and all the gibberish. I wonder if the saying is true you cant have someone love you till you love yourself, Will I never be ablt to let someone truly love me then? hmm.

Weird thing being both these guys are bigger then me, like 50-75 pounds bigger then me. Theres something comforting about that to me, A big strong guy taking care and making sure his little tiny thin girlfriend is ok? I cant wait to be that, the thin little girl. Would make me smile for one person to say to the guy im dating "wow your girlfriend is so thin"

By the way I was wondering if anyone else had any tips to for me to make my mom think im eating more then I am she has definitely been watching and taking note of calories consumed and more of what im eating. She keeps pushing for me to eat fast food, or unhealthy stuff at home that I dont need. I would love for extra tips

Sorry for the depressing/non weight loss needed blog lmao. Just need to get it out of my mind.

Im going to leave everyone with some of my fave thinspo. Remember you can achieve it, the only person who is stopping you is you. Start restricting and making sure you're having control over what you eat not the other way around. Lovelove

lalala

All my friends are getting on my case about loosing weight specially the ones who know I have/had disorders in the past. Why does it bother them? I dont get it, its my body, If i wanna look a certain way then what is it any of their buisness fuck..

ANYWAYS went for an hour long run yesterday definitely not my stron point anymore hips and ribs are startiing to show and im very very excited about that! collar bone is showing as well woot.
heres a sort of updated pic just showing my collar bone off,

BTW from start till now im down to an XS in shirts from a medium or large.

and im fitting into a size 7 for pants, there snug but i can do them up without any muffin top.

hows everyone else doing?!