sooo, down to 163 lost another 3 pounds, Saturday was a super hard day with the boyfriend making me dinner and stuff so sunday monday and tuesday i fasted worked wonderfully went for 3 two hour runs felt great did extra situps and leg lifts those nights because i felt like i needed to add more due to eating so much saturday. My BMI is down to 22.73 gotta keep going down.
Today all i ate was one piece of rye toast with a little bit of butter, and lemon water all day. feels good to be cleared of everything.
I know i need to cut out carbs and make sure that im eating more negative calorie fruits and veggies but with allergies its hard.
lets stay thin on the way to greatness <3

can feel my hip bones right under the skin cant wait till there popping out ;)

If anyone has any tips or advice I really would like a buddy to talk to :)

ughhh sorry body

So i didnt last the whole weekend i cracked i was at the guys house that im seeing and he made me breakfast in bed, i knew he would suspect something if i went to the bathroom afterwards cause he knows of my previous eating disorders so i had 2 hard boiled eggs and a piece of rye toast that'll be it for my day, i gotta get down to my goal weight and be thin no one wants a fat chick.. Im down to 166 btw so thats 4 lbs this wk, that waas this morning before breakfast so who knows, im going for a run later and we did have se so some calories were burned with that. im so dissapointed in myself its crazy this feeling of immediate guilt and hate for everything going into my mouth i know i could have gone longer with my liquid fast maybe i'll have a purge party tonight maybe a binge to.. have a good little party we'll see what happens.

and so it starts...

i really need a friend... someone to help me through these cravings during this .. gotta remeber no solids.. so hard.
:( never craved this bad in my life

i guess i forgot to update how much im weighing now, im at 168 from yesterday, i also did a colon cleanse NTE: drinking unidoized salt water tastes like shit, also make sure you do it near a toilet no the effects are not that immediate but you may throw up a couple times before being able to take down the whole amount. another plus to it yay ;) stay thin <3

So yesterday went well, was able to control my cravings for solids, being on only liquids sucks ass. But its so worth in the end. I have the determination for it. I've already had friends of mine ask me whats going on, why im cutting them off. but the thing is, they don't understand when i try to explain to them whats going on they just tell me im perfect, but im not. at all. or even close, im actually over 30 lbw from my perfection, and i don't even know if that will be perfection for me. i wish i had a buddy to talk to about this stuff someone to keep me motivated even when i wanna eat so badly.. ugh. Liquids only day 2. I wish someone would say i cant do this and that im going to fail and going to be a fat fuck, just cause i know it would motivate me to do better. The pictures i posted up yesterday make me sick to my stomach. gotta change the outside, then everyone will want to see me on the inside.

challenges

Shit... didnt think it would be this hard ti fat this time.. god damn. Nothing feels as good as skinny looks but holy shit. Its killing me this time, craving cheesecake and ice cream and candy. And tomorrow is going to be just as hard because im sleeping over at the guy i likes house and he already has the night planned, he definitely loves food, and loves when im fat. The fatter the better for him, for me its the complete opposite the skinnier i am the more i feel sexy. I dont think guys get it that well.

constant thoughts.

Looking through pro ana websites im constantly hating my body more and more, i cant wait to be thin again. Im really looking for someone who is in the same position as me, someone to push me and tell me no matter what im not good enough and i could be thinner. i look at the pictures i posted up earlier and it makes me want to gag theres so much fat there.. so far im doing good on my no solids but its only been a couple of hours i decided im going to do the whole weekend with no solids, and if that goes good i'll continue on to a week cause that when your body starts to use the fat that your body has stored as energy, the more i think about being thin the happier i get to have my dream body back again

hmm..

So my weight today @ 8:30 am is 170

goal today : NO SOLIDS

So going through some blogs it makes me constantly remember how fucking hot i was when i was skinny. I said i'd post up pictures of what i look like now so the people following my blog can see my progress.. Today started my restriction, no sweets and no solid foods. Then i'll slowly move into fasting, right now im eating probably around a 1000 calories a day, i wanna get down to 500.. with Christmas coming up i can tell im going to get ridiculed if im still fat. I forgot to mention in my last post that i take pills call abdominal cuts i take probably about 9 a day ( 3 in the morning, 3 mid day, and 3 at night) even if im not eating the pill give me more motivation to continue on it feels.

thoughts explanations

This is my blog about me getting thin. Im 170 right now and im 6 ft.. I hate my body, the owest ive gotten is 140 and EVERYONE looked at me and said how pretty i was. I loved that attention. thats the life i want all the time. My goal is to get down to 145 if i feel good at that by march 2012 we'll go further and see just how thin i can get. Right now i am taking abdominal cuts, and doing 200 crunches a night, 50 leg lifts both sides. If you wanna talk or give me motivation please do. I will post pictures of my weight loss and keep up with updating on how i've been eating and how i've been feeling and the compliments or "negative" things i hear.
xo.