Wednesday, 4 January 2012

updateddd

UGH! so little frustrated, Im either at 156 or 154 .. My body just wont stay at an even weight, Im going nuts. I've also been eating like a cow, I go back to university tomorrow so hopefully that will help with me not eating so much.

Good note though : So i was over at the guys house i use to date am still dating... who knows.. Getting to the point.. I was laying down and i guess my shirt had pulled up a little and he leaned in for a kiss grabbed my waist and was like why can I feel your bones, Why are your lululemon pants so baggy again? Look at your arms their so bony.. Whats going on? I told him I had been loosing weight so i could start feeling better about myself. He started getting really mean saying no one would love me like that and I dont know why you would want to look like skin and bones, And I obviously got embarrassed and felt like crying, and he grabbed my face (gently not hard or anything) and just said to me " Jen, you know your beautiful wether you way a bazillion pounds or nothing" That meant lots to me.

He also decided he was goinmg to lift me up to kiss him ... Never have I let him because I felt like i was to big, But it was easy for him to lift me like a child.. No weight at all it seemed to him. Made me feel great I liked that he noticed that my hip bones were showing again. Exciting.

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